Need a Laugh??

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your
home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with
your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a
sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls
all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means
I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

THOUGHTS FOR A SLOW WEEK:

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed
up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

Just remember, if the world didn't
suck, we'd all fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain
cells go, but fat cells live forever.

BUT MOST OF ALL, REMEMBER:

A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive,
Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

PONDERISMS:

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I
learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive
anyway.

In the 60's, people
took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these
dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'


Do illiterate people get the full effect
of Alphabet Soup?